2014-10-29

上帝知道我的需要


這禮拜一突然發現有一顆臼齒好像碎裂,趕緊打電話給我的牙醫約診。我的牙醫師常常工作滿檔,很難接臨時要約診的病人。我父親預訂這禮拜四在台中開刀,我們要南下台中陪伴,所以這兩天若約不到時間看牙,就要等回來了。
其實我是可以等的,但上帝知道我靈裡的需要,特地安排讓今天早上九點的病人臨時取消約診,我就順利去了一趟牙科診所。
九點鐘去的時候,牙醫師還在跟前一個病人聊天(想傳福音給他)!我本來想要離開,畢竟明天就要去台中三天,還有很多事要處理。還好牙醫師大概知道我來了,就趕快幫病人洗牙,然後很快就輪到我。
醫師按照慣例,先跟我聊聊近況,尤其是屬靈的景況。當他知道我父親要開刀,知道我們搬去台東的時間受阻之後,他說,有些事是right thing(對的事,該做的事),但需要等right time(對的時間,合適的時間)。我深有同感,我說我們本來就不敢亂作決定,只是先暫訂一個搬家日期,然後把這個日期交託給上帝,求祂告訴我們,這個時間對不對。現在,上帝明明白白在告訴我們:再等一等。我突然領悟到,上帝或許想要繼續大顯身手行祂的神蹟──賣房子、先生拿到博士學位、父親信主…..這三件大得不得了的事,難道上帝真的都要在我們搬家之前一一成就?
醫師跟我分享他自己的見證,說他怎樣在母親過世前一週,幫助母親在主裡得到全然的釋放。他鼓勵我,要把握這個機會,帶領父親信主。我原本覺得根本不可能向父親開口傳福音,但石醫師說,我可以在為父親禱告時,將心中的感動都說出來。若是這樣,我或許能做到。
回家路上,我在心裡為父親禱告,淚水不爭氣的流下來。我終於可以明白,父親是愛我的,雖然他愛我的方式曾傷害了我,卻無損於他愛我的事實。在這一刻,我終於不再覺得父親像陌生人了。
明天(禮拜四),我們要在父親開刀之前到達醫院,為他禱告,安慰他。過去六個月來,上帝一再為我們行神蹟,我懇求祂這次再行一個大神蹟,拯救我父親的靈魂,讓他在主裡找到這輩子一直未曾經歷到的平安和喜樂。也希望上帝醫治我父親的身體,給他機會在主裡活出不一樣的生命,成為周遭人的祝福。
天父上帝,願你的旨意成全。

2 則留言:

  1. Of course your father loves you, he just doesn't know how to show his love in the right way. Nobody knows how to love unless someone teaches them how to. When a baby was born, he learns how to love and how to be loved from their parents or other caretakers. You father and your mother can only love you the way they was taught.

    Have you even read the book "You can heal your life" by Louise L Hay. In the book, she wrote:
    "However, I Would Not Blame Our Parents For This
    They were doing the best the could with what they had been taught as children. If you want to understand your parents more, get them to talk about their own childhood; and if you listen with compassion, you will learn where their fears and rigid patterns come from. Those people who “did all that stuff to you” were just as frightened and scares as your are."


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  2. No offense, but I am afraid you might not know how to love your 4 kids the way you love them now if you didn't get to know God 20 years ago. You probably love them the same way your parents love you. God healed you and love you first, so now you can love, so now you know how to give out love and let it come in.

    "We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

    https://www.biblegateway.com/audio/mclean/niv/1John.4

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