2011-10-01

為孩子的行為訂界線絕對必要


[啟發事工「孩童教養課程」分享]
英國山楂私立小學校長提摩西強斯說:「如果小孩子沒有界線,就會覺得很難遵守學校生活的作息和規定,尤其會覺得很難聽課,很難在課堂上專心參與。因為他們已經習慣照自己的意思去做,習慣想做什麼就做什麼。這是因為父母不肯對孩子說不,總是容許孩子想做什麼就做什麼......人不能離群索居,必須在團體中長大,那些界線是絕對必要的。」
從下面這首詩可以看出父母為孩子訂界線好難:
I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to insist that you saved up your pocket money to buy a bike for yourself, that we could have afforded to buy for you.

I loved you enough to make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it, and to confess, “I stole this.”

I loved you enough to let you see hurt, disappointment and tears in my eyes.

I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall and hurt.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say, “No”, when you hated me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
(Attributed to Erma Bombeck)
我因為愛你,才會問你要去哪裡?跟誰去?幾點回家?
我因為愛你,才會要求你把零用錢存下來買腳踏車,雖然我們買得起。
我因為愛你,才會叫你把咬了一口的巧克力棒還人家,並且要你承認:這是我偷的。
我因為愛你,才會讓你看見我受傷、失望的眼神和淚水。
我因為愛你,才會讓你跌倒、讓你受傷。
但最重要的是,我因為愛你,才會對你說不,即使你因此而恨我。
這些都是難打的仗,但我很高興我贏了,因為到最後,你也贏了。
(爾瑪‧邦貝克的詩作)

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