2011-04-26

收養父母的第一個挑戰:照顧嬰兒

自己生孩子和收養孩子有一個最大的不同──生孩子有預產期,大概知道孩子什麼時候會來報到,可以預先做各樣的準備,舉凡孩子的必需品、父母在工作上和生活上的調整,都可以預先沙盤推演,儘量做周全的安排;但是收養孩子沒有準確的時間表,提出收養申請之後,還有許多關卡要過,不到最後一關不知道能不能收養成功,所以較難事先做好萬全的準備。正因為有這個大不同,不管是心理上、工作上、生活上或育兒知識上,有心收養的夫妻更應該提早預備,免得孩子突然來了,措手不及,徒增許多不必要的壓力。

我們夫妻很幸運,在尚未考慮收養之前,就接觸到美國小兒科醫師丹瑪醫師(Dr. Leila Denmark)的育兒法,她就是今天台灣暱稱的「百歲醫師」。這套育兒法強調是孩子加入父母的生活,不是父母加入孩子的生活,所以父母需要引導和訓練孩子來適應新家庭的生活。丹瑪醫師行醫七十多年,一直很強調睡眠對寶寶的發育很重要,加上父母也需要有充足的睡眠,才能有足夠的精神和體力照顧孩子,所以這套育兒法特別指出如何訓練寶寶睡過夜,半夜不用起來喝奶、換尿布(想了解這套育兒法,請參考拙作《這樣做,寶寶超好帶──百歲醫師教我的育兒寶典實踐篇》,如何出版社)。

我們帶十一天大的女兒回家的第一天晚上,就開始訓練她睡過夜,結果只用了一天就達成任務。從第二天晚上開始,女兒每晚都能一覺到天明,讓我們這對新手父母大鬆一口氣,有足夠的體力來面對接下來的挑戰。

4 則留言:

  1. If I have questions on how to train my baby the dr.
    Leila Denmark way, may I seek your assistance?
    My baby is now 6 weeks old. I've Been trying the
    method for 5 days now but it seems to be getting
    worse but not better. Thank you!

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    1. Do you live in Taiwan? If you do, you can get a copy of my book.(「這樣做,寶寶超好帶」如何出版社.)If not, you can get this book “Dr. Denmark Said It!” by Madia Bowman. The method in my book is just the applications from this book.

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  2. Hello! I do live in Taiwan and I actually did get a
    copy of your book to train my baby. But it's been
    difficult, as she can drink formula every 4 hours but
    will start crying in the third hour profusely. Right
    now we just try to let her cry and let her drink
    every 4 hours (she drinks about 60-80cc per
    feeding). Is this a normal part of the process? She
    was able to drink up to 110 on one day and 100
    occassionally but not consistently.

    We're on a 8-11-3 schedule right now, she has
    her worst crying hour at 9. She doesn't sleep well
    during this hour and will cry consistently almost
    every 5 minutes for an hour.

    We also let my daughter sleep on her tummy, but
    as she's been moving around the bed a lot when
    she sleeps. Her face is all red from rubbing against
    the sheets. Is this normal too? Is there anything
    we can do to help with the irritation?

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  3. Thank you replying to my message! It was easier
    during the first few days when I heard my baby cry
    but we're hitting the one week mark, and I'm
    starting to wonder if I'm doing something wrong, as
    it doesn't seem like it's getting better. :(

    If possible, is it ok for me to call you? Maybe it's
    easier to communicate by phone versus by writing.
    If it's ok, please kindly e-mail me your number and
    I will call you by phone. Thanks again!

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